sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
