i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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