I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
