It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
