puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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