I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
