she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
