I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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