Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
