Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
They took my balls.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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