Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We got so high we made milksteak
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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