Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
