could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
