This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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