she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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