Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize