She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize