It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
