And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize