If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
