two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
