You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
