Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
