oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
