So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
