Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
