DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize