He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
