Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize