Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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