her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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