Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
