You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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