Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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