I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize