Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
