I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
