I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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