Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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