i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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