If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
