it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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