you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.