butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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