Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize