I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
