He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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