We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
