Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
