You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
