I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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