To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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