I faked an abortion last night.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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