'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
