Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
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She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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