In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
