another moral hangover. fuck.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize