Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
