I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
