what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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