I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have aggressive nipples.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize