I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
