perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
